Welcome to another edition of Soup News from Around the World! The soup world has been abuzz with tales of tampered soup, soup-related violence, and two new soup world records…
It has certainly been a tough year in West Africa, with three shocking soup-related incidents among the populace… first, we visit Lagos, the most populous city in Africa behind Cairo and one of The Economist’s least livable cities in the world, where a <"DEAD LINK">Girl bathed her lover with hot soup… please enjoy the lyrical prose style of that article. We turn towards the Gulf of Guinea and bust a right turn, hardly noticing as we pass through Benin and Togo, and arrive in Ghana to read two more horrifying stories… <"DEAD LINK">Grandmother slashes boy for stealing soup <"DEAD LINK">Farmer threatens to kill wife over rat soup.
However, Africa doesn’t have a monopoly on soup-related crimes… we turn to England for this entertaining yarn… Diner orders soup – then pulls out a gun… I love the little details in that article. And depending on your legalistic proclivities, this may not even register on the Soup Crime Watch, but here it is… Judge frees dope soup gran.
In the States, though, tampering is the name of the game… even those of you not so attuned to soup news may have heard the following Austin news tidbit: Austin woman accused of poisoning soup . Sad, sad, sad. And here is Chapter MCMLXXIII of a classic American story, some loser trying to take Campbell’s for the proverbial ride… Soupcon of rubber leads to food suit… I should write them and key them in on the countless other incidents, like <"DEAD LINK">Man Indicted in Soup Poisoning and Mouse-In-Soup Scam Gets Man a Year in Jail, where it is repeatedly shown that soup crimes do not pay.
Let’s take a turn for the positive, shall we? Soupmaker aspirations realized earlier this year when Miljan Stojanic set the world record for largest soup, ringing in at 10,000 liters… Serb cooks most soup. But of course as quickly as the thrill of victory is upon you, you just gotta know what’s coming next… the agony of DOH! Venezuela Claims Big Soup Record… if only nationalistic bravado was always expressed in such peaceful measures. The greatest quote comes from the Food Minister in response to reporter questions about why the pot wasn’t completely full: “We didn’t add more for security reasons.” I say, don’t give up Minister Oropeza… if a soup-related Guinness Record attempt is impeded for security reasons, then the terrorists have won.
Other international soup stories regarding rare ingredients… India has a programme to send stray dogs to Korea for soup… Dogs’ tail soup threat for strays… On the turtle soup front, two interesting articles came up recently… Texas turtles ending up in China soup pots and in Australia, Talking turtles become soup… This shark fin story actually got a little mainstream press, when Yao Ming publicly swore off shark’s fin soup. But here’s the stupid addendum to the story… his teammate was flagged by animal rights groups a few weeks later… Basketball star berated for shark fin dinner.
Onto some soup health-related articles… this one may be of interest to some Soupies… Tomato soup ‘boosts fertility’… I particularly enjoyed this article about the importance of soup in hot climates… Hot soup, spicy food may provide heat relief… Here’s one that argues for soup as a key to longevity… Centenarian has never visited a doctor: Soup, milk, beer and loving kindness are Mercedes Salazar’s secrets to longevity… and here’s one that argues for soup as a key to Tour de France victories… <"Dead Link">Was soup the secret to Lance’s 7 yellow jerseys? . You’ll be seeing that soup on our menu next July during Le Tour. And someone needs to get on the horn to RZA, GZA or at least Ghostface Killah… the Shaolin clan has a secret weapon that Wu Tang will need to counteract with even greater and deffer rhymes and beats… Miraculous Shaolin Soul-reviving Soup is Real
We’re getting to the end here, thank you for staying tuned… a little PSA about the dangers of the non-Soup-Peddler-sanctioned practice of eating canned soup when combined with the sanctioned practice of recycling… Ravioli, Soup Cans Removed From Cats’ Heads. Fascinating little article here, just vaguely soup-related but cool: Scientists Create Tiniest-Ever Alphabet Soup. And the very saddest bit of soup news in recent memory… this one strikes very close to my heart. Do you see what happens? Do you see what happens when you sign on the dotted line? Soup Nazi Goes Down. I’ve been following this for quite a while. A story of a man who made a deal with suits who spun tales of riches beyond his imagination, who lost his passion, his store, his reputation, and coming soon… his money. A very cautionary tale for this particular Soup Peddler.